A Little Help

The people who make lovely things happen and a small helping of ikigai

🌸 ikigai 生き甲斐 is a reason for being, your purpose in life, from the Japanese iki 生き meaning life and gai 甲斐 meaning worth 🌸

Joe Cocker’s With a Little Help from My Friends feels like the right soundtrack for recovering from this weekend. Although, looking at what my colleagues and so many other people have put into it, a little help is nowhere near the truth.

I’ve spent the whole weekend working at The Big Manx Feast here on the Isle of Man. My contribution was very, very small though my tiredness is so very huge *grin*

As a consequence this is perhaps my shortest essay yet… with the weekend almost over and my desire to not break my weekly publishing streak just slightly stronger than my need to crash on my sofa… oh and a massive urge to express that most people are just brilliant aren’t they?!

Behind the Feast

The Feast has been a fabulous celebration of food, drink, culture, art, producers and so much more. The programme brought together Manx dancing, live music, cookery demonstrations and even butter churning. So many ways to discover what people here grow, make, create and care about… and behind all of that are the people who make it possible.

My colleagues have put an enormous amount of work into this, alongside so very many others. There’s a whole world of organising, thinking ahead and sorting things out behind an event that somebody else gets to turn up to and enjoy.

I’ve been thinking about how gorgeous a thing that is… Taking all that care and effort and turning it into a good day out for other people in our community.

The things we do together

We talk a lot about finding our purpose. Our calling, a particular thing. I certainly spend enough time thinking and writing about my journey.

But this weekend reminds me how much meaning lives in the things we do together and especially for others. There’s room to bring a little of yourself to something that other people have poured themselves into. To lend a hand, appreciate the work and be glad you could play a small part.

Perhaps that’s one of the gentler ways into ikigai. You don’t have to solve the enormous question of what your whole life is for before you can help with what’s happening in front of you.

Sometimes, being close to other people’s enthusiasm and care reminds you how much there is to love about the place you live.

Honourably tired

Japanese has a phrase I want to say to each and every one of them. Otsukaresama deshita お疲れ様でした. Colleagues say it to each other at the end of the day as they reach for their coats, and it usually gets translated as “thank you for your hard work”. Take it apart though, and it’s even lovelier. Tsukare means tiredness. The o at the front and the sama at the end are both marks of respect. Nobody in Tokyo is thinking about it this literally, in the same way we’ve forgotten that goodbye began as “God be with you”... but piece by piece it comes out as something like “you are honourably tired”.

I love that. We usually treat tiredness as a problem, this concept though allows it to be noticed and met with respect.

The good ache of long days spent making something happen alongside other people.

So, to my colleagues and everyone who helped make the event happen, thank you. Otsukaresama deshita. I hope you get a moment to take in what you’ve created, as well as a very well earned sit down.

I came to this google doc just now stressing about how little time I had left, and worrying that I hadn’t had time to think about ikigai much this weekend.

Though now I think about it I realise that in getting a little help from my friends, we were all getting to experience a small helping of ikigai.

Who makes lovely things happen in your corner of the world?

Sarah, seeking ikigai xxx

PS - A bullet journal spread idea. Two lists on facing pages. On the left, “A little help I received”... every person whose effort made your week better, however small, from the colleague who sorted the thing to the stranger who held the door. On the right, “A little help I gave”... the small parts you played in somebody else’s good day. Small things count, especially the ones you almost forgot to notice. When you’ve finished, pick one name from the left hand page and thank them.

PPS - An AI prompt to try with thinking mode engaged

“I recently enjoyed [an event, a meal, a day out, a project that went well]. Take your time and think carefully. List the behind the scenes jobs that probably made it possible, including the ones I would never have noticed as a guest. Finish with the three jobs most likely to go unthanked.”

Then close the laptop and go and thank one of them. I tried it in my head on the Feast and it would surface things like licensing, waste collection, signage and whoever stood in a car park all day.

PPPS - This week’s soundtrack is With a Little Help from My Friends by Joe Cocker. A big hearted song for a weekend made possible by lots of people bringing something of themselves.