Countdown to 50

Happy Birthday to my Substack and to me *grin*

🌸 ikigai 生き甲斐 is a reason for being, your purpose in life - from the Japanese iki 生き meaning life and gai 甲斐 meaning worth 🌸

I’m sitting here on my 49th Birthday Eve thinking about the peculiar magic of numbers. This is essay number 52 for Sarah Seeking Ikigai, one essay for every week of a whole year. I’m proud of myself for this satisfying symmetry.  It feels like the universe is giving me a hug and whispering that I’m on the most sparkly and serendipitous path.

W’oh, tomorrow I’ll have been alive for 17,896 days on this bizarre and beautiful planet!

And now I’m on a countdown to the final lap of my forties.

Reflections on my ikigai journey

Rewind to this time last year. I was approaching 48 with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. The big 5-0 looming on the horizon, bringing with it societal expectations and personal doubts. It was then that I decided to harness that nervous energy into starting my ikigai journey, seeking to uncover my life's purpose and try to live each day with intention. Little did I know then just how transformative this past year would be.

I've discovered a source of joy, purpose, and self-acceptance. Each essay, each reflection, each small step towards living with intention has brought me closer to my authentic self. I'm learning to celebrate my quirks, embrace my passions, and view my age as a badge of honour rather than a source of anxiety. On the threshold of 49 I find myself filled with anticipation and excitement.

Through my writing and exploration of ikigai, I’m polishing some core truths for transformation, indulge me a little in looking back;

• No longer expected to be beautiful saw me sharing the sense of freedom that ageing brings, finding the courage to say, "I've learned to love my face exactly as it is, which sounds really weird and is scary to say out loud." This acceptance has been liberating, allowing more time and energy to focus on what truly matters.

• Why isn't kindness cool was a recent musing on kindness transforming lives; "Kindness is the ultimate superpower—it lowers blood pressure, releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin, spreads positivity like glitter, is a magnet for good vibes, and makes you the real hero of any story" I try to keep this front and centre in how I interact with the world, oh and to remember to be kind to myself too.

• Hatarakigai = Work Worth Doing helped me reconcile the purpose Venn diagram, because there is SUCH importance and time given over to work in our lives, why wouldn’t we want to push for this to be as perfect as possible?! "I want more control over my life, that's my aim with all this *gestures vaguely at this here corner of the web*" Helping others on their quests for meaningful work has become a driving force in my life.

• Craft a Contented Life Under a Vanilla Sky reminded me that joy lies in appreciating life's small moments. The simple truth that "The little things... there's nothing bigger, is there?" has profoundly impacted how I perceive and value my daily experiences.

• Finally, The Essence of Simplicity helped me see that true clarity comes from understanding complexity, then distilling it; "In thoughtful simplicity, we find space to breathe, to create, to live. It's not really about doing less, but doing what matters most. To cut through life's static and hear your soul's true song."

Learning to love the idea of turning 50

My countdown to 50 isn't a clock ticking down to doom but to the launch of my most authentic, purposeful and powerful decade yet. I’ve got a year to convince myself of this *ahem*

A countdown suggests a sense of anticipation, of something worth waiting for. But it also carries a sense of finality, a kind of letting go. And this year, I feel both. There are the things I want to celebrate, the moments I want to capture and keep close, and then there are the things I need to let go of; outdated expectations, patterns that have outlived their usefulness, and maybe even parts of myself that no longer serve me.

Fifty is a cultural milestone, one laden with its own narratives and baggage, but also an invitation. I have time to reflect on where I’ve been, what I’ve learned, and where I still want to go. This year is about creating more space for joy, meaningful work, honing health, and true connection. To strip away what I no longer need.

So here we are beautiful souls, at the starting line of my personal countdown to 50. Fifty-two weeks of intentional living, of seeking ikigai with renewed vigour, of embracing the wisdom that comes with age while nurturing the curiosity and wonder of youth. To craft a present that’s brimming with meaning.

I'm realising that living with purpose is less about striving and more about allowing. Allowing myself to change, want new things, and let life unfold in unexpected ways.

I will approach this year with curiosity and gratitude. A sense of wonder about what's next, and an appreciation for all that's come before. I'm giving myself permission to experiment, to try new things, to fail spectacularly if it means I've been bold. I'm letting go of the need to have everything figured out, and instead embracing the not-knowing, the in-between, the becoming.

Fifty is coming, and I want to meet it not with dread, but with excitement. To greet it as an old friend, someone who knows my story, who has seen my highs and lows, but who also knows that the best parts are still unwritten. This is a countdown, but it's also a celebration. A celebration of who I've been, who I am, and who I'm still becoming.

To my 48-year-old self, nervous about the future; look how far we've come! To my 50-year-old self, waiting just around the corner; get ready for the most vibrant and awesome version of us yet.

May we all find joy in the little things, harmony in our pursuits, and deep satisfaction in being true to who we are.

Happy birthday to me, and happy journeying to us all!

Sarah, seeking ikigai xxx

P.S. I'd love to hear your thoughts and if you want to make this geeky girl’s birthday heart sing please click the love heart button! Does 50 (or 30, 40, 60 etc) scare or motivate you? How do you embrace each year with intention?