Gender Neutral Means Male

Gender equity is top of my ikigai THINGS THE WORLD NEEDS list but does everyone believe it’s even an issue?

🌸 ikigai 生き甲斐 is a reason for being, your purpose in life - from the Japanese iki 生き meaning life and gai 甲斐 meaning worth 🌸

"Men are the default; women are seen as an aberration." Caroline Criado Perez nails it in her book "Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men."

From how our cities are built to how our tech is designed, the world is set up for men.

Women are not safe and I don’t see enough urgency in fixing that!

The fact that we still have a huge lack of women in power makes me fearful this will significantly change in my lifetime.

Talk about this and you are looked at as if you have two heads. Well by some men anyway. My girlfriends and I often have girly therapy chats just to stay sane.

I’ve been pondering recently if it is just a quirk that guys tend to skip over media created by women? Or is it a factor that affects how men and women relate to each other, especially when it comes to empathy and understanding? Potentially an issue contributing to gender inequity and even violence?

Invisible Women: The Gender Data Gap

Perez’s "Invisible Women" shines a light on how data bias against women is everywhere.

Reading that book recently made me really scared and sad, at times furious, but it also lit a fire in me that I’m not daft to prioritise this as a problem yet to be solved.

Think about healthcare, most research uses male subjects, which means women's health issues get less attention but even more scarily; drugs work differently in female bodies, sometimes not working at all, other times perhaps being a danger.

Perez sums it up: “Women are living in a world that is literally designed for men.”

Everyday Language and Gender Bias

In her essay "There is No Unmarked Woman" Deborah Tannen discusses how women are always judged and labelled based on their appearance, behaviour, and choices, unlike men who can remain 'unmarked'. This constant marking highlights an ingrained gender bias where male is the default, and female is the deviation. She states;

“The unmarked forms of most English words also convey "male." Being male is the unmarked case. Endings like ess and ette mark words as "female." Unfortunately, they also tend to mark them for frivolousness. Would you feel safe entrusting your life to a doctorette? Alfre Woodard, who was an Oscar nominee for best supporting actress, says she identifies herself as an actor because "actresses worry about eyelashes and cellulite, and women who are actors worry about the characters we are playing." Gender markers pick up extra meanings that reflect common associations with the female gender: not quite serious, often sexual.”

A similar bias appears in how both men and women refer to animals. People often default to "he" when they don’t know an animal's sex, reinforcing the idea that male is standard. More telling is men naming their cars and other possessions as "she". This practice, rooted in patriarchal norms, associates the feminine with ownership. Cars, ships, and even nations are often referred to as "she", things controlled by men.

These linguistic habits may seem trivial, but they reflect and reinforce deeper societal attitudes about gender roles and power dynamics. Changing how we speak can be a small but significant step towards greater gender equity.

Like irritating people by making a point of inserting “men’s” in front of the word “football” or “Euros” recently, why are we only differentiating “women’s” football?

Media Consumption and Gender Empathy

Here’s a fun fact (or not); men (hashtag not all men of course, ahem) tend to avoid books, movies, and other media created by women. Women, on the other hand, consume content from both men and women. Surely this has big implications for empathy and understanding?

From womensprize.com; “For the top 10 bestselling female fiction authors (who include Jane Austen, Margaret Atwood and Agatha Christie), only 19% of their readers are men and 81% women. But for the top 10 bestselling male authors (who include Charles Dickens and JRR Tolkien, as well as Lee Child and Stephen King), the split in readers is much more even: 55% men and 45% women.”

This trend isn't just a minor curiosity, it speaks to broader societal norms and the persistence of gender inequality. Do male readers consciously or unconsciously avoid books by women because they feel they can't relate to themes such as pregnancy, motherhood, and feminism? Marketing strategies and the categorisation of "women's fiction" can further reinforce the idea that these books are not meant for male readers.

We shouldn’t typecast the audience or limit the potential reach of any form of media. We need more inclusive and representative marketing to break down these barriers.

Is male authored media subtly reinforcing traditional masculine norms, missing out on the rich, diverse experiences of women? Any limited perspective can stunt empathy, making it harder for us to truly understand what people who are different from us are going through.

When men skip female created media, they miss out on stories that could challenge their biases and broaden their horizons. This lack of empathy and understanding can perpetuate stereotypes.

Empathy, our ability to understand and share someone else’s feelings, is key to respectful relationships. An empathy gap, widened by skewed media consumption could play a role in gender-based violence. Diverse media representation is SO important.

Traditional masculinity norms often discourage men from showing vulnerability and empathy, associating these traits with weakness. To the detriment of men as much as women.

Cultural conditioning starts early and is reinforced through media and societal expectations. As a result, many men grow up with a limited ability to empathise with women, leading to misunderstandings, prejudice, and sometimes violence.

Laura Bates, in her book "Fix the System, Not the Women," argues that the issues women face are not because of their shortcomings but because of systemic flaws. Bates writes, "It is the system that needs fixing, not the women who are forced to navigate it." Or the men in it of course. This perspective shifts the blame from individuals to the broader societal structures that perpetuate gender inequity.

Bates' work highlights how systemic biases infiltrate every aspect of life, from workplace policies to media representation. She emphasises that real change comes from addressing these root causes rather than placing the burden on women to adapt. This is particularly relevant when considering the consumption of media created by women. If the system values and promotes male-created media more heavily, it will naturally skew the audience's preferences and empathy.

By fixing the system, including how media is marketed, consumed, and valued, we can create a more equitable environment where women’s voices are heard and respected. This systemic change will encourage men to engage more with female-created media, fostering greater empathy and understanding.

Counterpoints

• Gender neutrality vs. male normativity; Strides have been made towards gender neutrality and arguably the remaining biases are being actively addressed through policy changes and societal shifts. While overall trends are positive it is worrying that not everyone sees the urgency that there are still significant issues that have a very real impact on women and girls, or that rights won in some countries are being eroded. Women are not OTHER, they are 50% of the world, so neutrality is not right either.

• Men's media consumption patterns & empathy gap; Media consumption is a matter of personal preference, I’m not advocating for infringing on personal freedom. Some preferences could of course be a reflection of inherent differences rather than systemic bias, a closer balance should be expected though statistically speaking. There may be disagreement on the link between media consumption and empathy, empathy can be developed through various means, personal experiences and upbringing also play a significant role.

• Systemic bias in everyday life; Some will challenge the extent of systemic bias, arguing that many sectors are actively working towards inclusivity and that attributing every disparity to bias oversimplifies complex social dynamics. Critics argue that the focus should be on equal opportunities rather than perceived equal outcomes. Though this is where societal level education on the difference between equality and equity is very important, if we want to make the world a fairer place more quickly.

A Call to Action

Achieving gender equity is not just a matter of fairness; it's essential for creating a society that benefits from the full potential of all its members. Here are steps we can all take;

1. Diversify your media diet; actively seek out and engage with content created by women and other underrepresented groups.

2. Challenge biased language; be mindful of gendered language and work to use more inclusive terms where appropriate, challenge the male as default!

3. Support systemic change; advocate for policies and practices that address gender bias in all areas of life but especially in the workplace and decision making environments.

4. Educate, engage and be an ally; share knowledge about gender bias and its impacts with others. Listen to women. Be an active ally. Women know that it is men's voices that are MUCH more powerful than theirs on this topic unfortunately, so we need them to be louder.

Gender inequity affects all aspects of life, addressing these imbalances will unlock the potential of everyone. We can move towards a more balanced and equitable world.

In the context of ikigai, fixing gender inequity helps meet a huge "what the world needs" issue, allowing more women to find their purpose and encouraging men to become more empathetic allies. Striving for a society that values all perspectives brings us closer to a world where everyone can achieve their ikigai.

Let’s celebrate and promote female writers, artists and creators to help get their work in front of a broader audience, who are your favourites?

Sarah, seeking ikigai xxx