Let Go to Grow: How Karaoke Night Can Unlock Your Ikigai
Part 2 of 5 exploring Ken Mogi’s five pillars of ikigai “Releasing Yourself”
🌸 ikigai is a reason for being, your purpose - from the Japanese iki 生き meaning life and kai 甲斐 meaning worth 🌸
It’s early Sunday morning, and I’m driving along Shore Road. The sky pink with the promise of a new day. The road is empty and only seagulls keep me company.
I’m singing at the top of my lungs. The windows are down and I can taste salty sea breeze on my tongue. I I feel completely free. Each note is a release, every lyric echoes a part of my life, resonating deeply. It’s just me, the music, and the open road. I feel alive, unfiltered and unafraid.
Yet, the thought of singing like this in front of others, say, at a karaoke bar, fills me with dread.
Why is that? I know the joy and liberation that comes from belting out my favourite songs, but the idea of sharing this in a public setting, where every note is exposed and every slip is noticed, seems daunting. Many of us experience this cringe factor, a fear of embarrassment that holds us back not just from singing karaoke, but from so many other joyous, liberating experiences.
What else are we missing out on because we’re too concerned with how we'll be perceived?
Embrace the art of "Releasing Yourself" in the pursuit of ikigai
My weekly singing habit reminded me of the second pillar of ikigai so I wanted to talk about it in a little more detail. I want to move past unhelpful moments of hesitation to embrace a fuller experience of life. To apply this understanding and expand those solitary moments of freedom into our everyday lives, shedding the fear of judgement and embracing our true selves. As introduced in my Back to the Drawing Board post recently, Ken Mogi talks about the 5 pillars of ikigai in The Little Book of Ikigai, the second one can be summarised as;
Releasing Yourself (自分を解放しよう): It's about accepting yourself and being mindful of the present moment. Practically, it means letting go of unnecessary stress or self-imposed limitations, focusing on what you can control, and being true to your feelings and desires. For example, pursuing a hobby that brings you joy, regardless of your skill level.
“The epiphany here is that, paradoxically, accepting oneself as one is often involves releasing yourself, especially when there is an illusory self, which you hold to be desirable. You need to let go of the illusory self, in order to accept yourself and be happy.”
What do we mean by "Releasing Yourself"?
Releasing Yourself is about shedding societal pressures and expectations to embrace your true self. It's a call to engage with your passions openly and without fear. This process is not just about self-discovery, it’s about self-acceptance and expressing your individuality in a way that resonates deeply with your personal sense of purpose.
The literal.
When I think about the most obvious demonstration of this notion, I think karaoke. There are people I know that are amazing singers and always stand up. Others that aren’t so amazing, but have so much charisma and humour and presence that they too jump at the chance. Then there are far too many like me who are paralysed by the very thought of any of it.
When you are able to sing like no-one is listening, even in public, you have unlocked a whole new level of awesome in life. No-one is as judgemental as we think they are going to be, well ok maybe you do know that one person. How happy are they though, how much credence are they given in your social circle? Most people are too busy worrying about how they are being perceived to expend too much emotional energy on what you are up to.
The metaphorical.
This is the liberating process of shedding societal expectations and embracing your authentic self. It emphasises the importance of expressing your true feelings and desires without restraint, allowing you to live more fully in the present and engage deeply with your passions. This practice not only enhances personal happiness and fulfilment but also fosters genuine connections with others.
Weirdness is a social construct. So is normal for that matter.
When you push yourself to step outside your comfort zone, you attract others that it resonates with.
Cultural Musical Roots and Karaoke
In Japanese culture, the phenomenon of karaoke offers a fascinating glimpse into the practice of "Releasing Yourself." Unlike in many Western societies, where performing in front of others can evoke that fear of judgement, karaoke in Japan is a widespread and beloved activity. It embodies the spirit of releasing inhibitions and enjoying the moment, irrespective of skill or perfection. This cultural norm supports the idea that there is a safe space for everyone to express themselves freely, a fundamental aspect of personal development.
When I am singing in my car, I tap into a deeper feeling of connectedness to both my own emotions and also a oneness with the world. In the last few months there have been many occasions it has made me cry, sob actually, but in a really good and healthy way. This morning I was just full of the joy of it.
Humans have been making music since the mists of time;
“Our brains seem wired at birth to link music with positive emotions and togetherness.” ; https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-from-a-neuroscience-perspective/202403/the-evolutionary-roots-of-music
I was also reflecting how singing really loud and feeling emotional was something I remember with such fondness from my earliest memories of primary school days. I think it’s a peculiarly British/Manx thing, and from a set period of time too, growing up in the 70s and 80s. School assemblies sat cross legged and loudly singing your favourites without inhibition with your best friends. If this has made you smile do yourself a favour and subscribe to James B Partridge for proper primary school assembly bangers *grin*
The Benefits of Releasing Yourself
Authenticity: Living authentically reduces the internal conflict between who you are and who you feel pressured to be, leading to greater inner peace.
Resilience: By embracing your true self, you develop resilience against external pressures and criticisms, as your self-worth is anchored in self-acceptance rather than approval.
Connection: Authenticity ultimately fosters deeper connections with others. People are drawn to genuine expressions of self, which leads to more meaningful relationships.
Practical Steps to Releasing Yourself
Self-Reflection: Regular self-reflection can help you identify what truly brings you joy and fulfilment. Keeping a journal or engaging in reflective practices like meditation can facilitate this discovery.
Experimentation: Try new activities without the burden of mastery. Whether it’s art, writing, sports, or any other field, approach it with the mindset of exploration and enjoyment, much like karaoke.
Mindful Sharing: Share your passions and interests with others without fear of judgement. This might be through social media, community groups, or personal blogs. The act of sharing can reinforce your sense of self and encourage others to do the same.
Feedback Loops: Constructively seek and integrate feedback. This helps refine your pursuits and deepen your understanding of how you can best express yourself.
Cultural Exploration: Engage with cultural practices that celebrate self-expression. Whether it’s attending a poetry slam, participating in a dance workshop, or experiencing an open mic night, immerse yourself in environments that normalise and celebrate individual expression.
So let’s try to remember the power of letting go!
"Releasing Yourself" is a powerful pillar of ikigai that advocates for a life of authenticity and self-expression. By understanding and applying this principle, we can unlock a deeper sense of purpose and joy in our lives. As we learn from the Japanese karaoke experience, creating spaces in our lives where we can freely express ourselves can lead to profound personal growth and satisfaction.
In exploring the full potential of "Releasing Yourself," we not only advance our own lives but also contribute to a culture where authenticity and personal expression are valued and encouraged. Let us take inspiration from this and make each step toward self-releasing an intentional stride towards living our Ikigai.
Let it go.
There’s beauty in being completely you.
Sarah, seeking ikigai xxx
PS - share with me how you let your hair down, oh and of course what would be your karaoke song if/when you feel confident?
PPS - YOU are beautiful just the way you are. I truly believe we are all stars and we are beautiful;