Loose Ideas Strongly Held
Finding certainty in principle, flexibility in practice and humility in power
🌸 ikigai 生き甲斐 is a reason for being, your purpose in life - from the Japanese iki 生き meaning life and gai 甲斐 meaning worth 🌸
When we talk about how to think and navigate life's complexities, there's a popular Silicon Valley wisdom "strong opinions, loosely held".
Be confident in your thinking but ready to pivot when new evidence appears.
It sounds sensible on the face of it, right?
Yet I find myself drawn to almost the opposite approach. What if a more meaningful way to move through the world is with loose ideas, strongly held?
I'm not talking about being vague or uncommitted. Rather ensuring that the foundational values that guide us are principles broad enough to apply across countless situations but firm enough to be non-negotiable.
The difference between ideas and values & why looseness matters
The distinction matters.
Strong opinions about specific methods, technologies, or approaches should be held loosely.
But beneath those opinions lie broader principles, loose ideas that can be expressed or delivered in countless ways but remain unshakeable at their core.
"Build people up, don't knock them down" isn't a detailed prescription for how to interact with everyone in every situation.
It's delightfully, intentionally loose.
The applications are infinite, adaptable, contextual. Yet the underlying value, that we should contribute to others' wellbeing rather than diminish it, is held with absolute conviction.
And the thing about such convictions is while the expressions may be flexible, some approaches simply fall outside their bounds entirely. Can regularly reducing people to tears ever align with building people up? Or be justified by "results"? At the end of days I’m not sure the ledger of our life will care about KPIs, I suspect the moments we chose humanity over hierarchy, connection over control will be painted in rainbow bright hue.
Loose ideas have breathing room. They're adaptable, applicable across contexts, resilient in the face of change. They evolve with experimentation and scientific research.
Take kindness. I believe in it fiercely, but I'm not wedded to any single definition or expression of it. Sometimes kindness means gentle words; other times it requires difficult truths delivered with clarity as a higher priority than compassion. The looseness of the idea allows it to transform while remaining true to its essence.
This looseness creates space for learning and growth.
I don't need to know the neurological mechanisms behind why encouragement works better than criticism for me to commit to being someone who encourages. The scientific explanation might evolve, but the value remains.
Living with loose ideas strongly held
While the ideas themselves might be broad, the conviction with which we hold them matters hugely. These values form our North Star, guiding decisions when everything else is uncertain.
There are some principles I would struggle to abandon even with compelling counterarguments.
That every person has inherent worth, that growth is possible, that kindness ultimately matters more than being right. These aren't detailed opinions, they're fundamental values that shape everything else.
The strength of commitment doesn't come from being unwilling to examine these values, it comes from having examined them so thoroughly that they've become part of our core identity.
This approach changes how we engage with the world;
We can be both grounded and flexible
We can listen truly to different perspectives without feeling threatened
We can adapt our methods while maintaining our direction
We can be curious about the "how" while remaining committed to the "why"
Complexity is increasing exponentially, perhaps the most resilient stance isn't having super detailed maps held loosely, but rather having swinging compasses we grasp firmly.
The most meaningful moments in life often aren't about being right on complex specifics, they're about being unshakable on fundamental simplicities. We don’t refuse to grow or change. We establish bedrock values that make authentic growth possible in the first place.
By being absolutely committed to broad principles rather than specific methods, we actually become more open to evidence and change, not less.
When my core value is growth rather than being right, I can welcome challenges to my thinking.
When my commitment is to understanding rather than winning, I can engage with opposing viewpoints with genuine curiosity.
The strength of my conviction about what truly matters gives me the security to be flexible about almost everything else.
When conviction meets power
There's a delicate balance to navigate when holding our loose ideas with conviction. In some contexts, especially where power differentials exist, certainty can be perceived as obnoxious or even threatening.
The person who declares "kindness matters most" with unwavering conviction from a position of power might create an environment where others feel unable to question or nuance that principle, even when necessary. The manager who champions "open communication" while shutting down dissenting voices or ignoring certain comms channels. Someone with privilege who insists "everyone deserves respect" without acknowledging systemic inequities.
This is the certainty paradox, the stronger our conviction the more carefully we must examine how it operates in power dynamics.
Our loose ideas strongly held should create MORE psychological safety, not less. They should open conversations rather than shutting them down. The way we express our certainty matters hugely.
"I believe deeply in building people up" lands differently than "Everyone should obviously believe in building people up."
The former acknowledges personal conviction while making space for dialogue. The latter suggests those who question or complicate the principle are somehow deficient. Even if we secretly think that, societies are a self corrector and teach us to not want to come across as a knob *grin*
This is why loose ideas strongly held works better than rigid certainty – the looseness creates room for context, nuance, and the recognition that even our most cherished principles operate differently across varying power structures and lived experiences.
What is most important to us, isn’t going to be most important to everyone.
When we're mindful of power differentials, we can hold our core values with both conviction and humility, creating environments where others feel safe to engage, question, and bring their full perspectives without being bullied for having a difference of opinion.
Where do you stand?
What are your loose ideas that you hold with unshakable conviction? What broad principles guide you even as you remain open to countless ways of achieving or expressing them?
Perhaps examining these core values, these loose ideas strongly held, might reveal more about our authentic selves and ikigai than any detailed or specific opinion ever could.
Sarah, seeking ikigai xxx
PS - Journal prompts to explore your own loose ideas strongly held;
What are 3-5 broad principles you would find extremely difficult to abandon, even in the face of counterarguments?
How do these core values show up differently in various areas of your life (work, relationships, creativity)?
What's a loose idea you hold strongly that has guided you through difficult decisions?
PPS - Try creating a "Values Compass" spread in your bullet journal:
Draw a compass in the centre of your page
In each cardinal direction (N, S, E, W), write one of your core "loose ideas" that you hold strongly
Around each direction, note different ways this value manifests in your life
Use this as a reference when facing difficult decisions or when you feel lost
AI exploration prompt: Share a photo of your Values Compass with Claude or ChatGPT and ask: "Based on my core values compass, what potential tensions or harmonies do you see between these principles? How might they work together to guide me through complex decisions while maintaining both conviction and flexibility?"
PPPS - Musical Interlude 🎧 – "I Won’t Back Down," Tom Petty
Choosing "I Won’t Back Down" might seem oddly stubborn for an essay about openness. But as Tom Petty reminds us:
"Well, I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around."
Maybe that's exactly why it fits, because holding loose ideas strongly is about fiercely protecting deeper truths, especially when the world pushes you to compromise them.
Give it a listen, embrace the paradox, and don’t back down when it’s really important and nothing is more important than helping others to be safe and shine 🌸
What a lovely piece. Thank you. My one loose idea held strongly is that individual happiness is built on kindness to others. Or, to put it another way, if you can't be kind, you'll never be truly happy.
I'll die on that hill.
OMG, love the reference to the Friends “pivot” episode—one of my favorites! This reminds me of the song “Hold On Loosely” by 38 Special. If you’re holding on too tightly, you just might lose control. It’s a similar concept—you want a solid framework, but one that still allows for flexibility.