What’s a rule you live by, and why?

The rule I’ve lived by the longest is; “happiness is a way to travel not a destination”

I first heard this phrase from my friend Listener when I was in my mid 20s, nearly 25 years ago now.  It hugely stuck in my mind the second I heard it even though my life was chaotic then.  I’ve heard it said my brain had likely not finished forming at that age. I was Mum to a beautiful baby girl and juggling motherhood and work and relationships and lots of blogging and online gaming in my personal life, and online community moderation in my work life.  There were frequent peaks of joy and troughs of despair. I messed up a lot of things, a lot. I wanted to do better though.

Something hugely resonated for me about embracing happiness as an active choice and path, not an end point. I’m grateful for that early lesson as it was often in my mind and it helped frame other decisions I could make about how I wanted to develop.

It taught me to pay attention to the process and experiences of living.  To not focus too much on material items or be wishing my life away. To relish the power of seeking out opportunities to share simple kindnesses in life, like letting people out at junctions. That the small things in life matter the most.

Mistaking Happiness as a Destination

Our society frequently paints happiness as an end goal, a state to be achieved once certain criteria are met, like career success, financial stability, or personal achievements. This destination-centric view leads to the 'I'll be happy when...' syndrome, where happiness is perpetually deferred to a future moment. However, this approach is fundamentally flawed. It places happiness just out of reach, always tied to the next milestone. Never actually here.  Wishing our far too fleeting lives away.

Actively look for happiness in your journey

Happiness thrives in the everyday journey of life. It's found in mundane moments, the warmth of the morning sun, a conversation with a friend, or singing along to your favourite song coming on the radio as you drive home from work. These instances could seem insignificant, yet they are the essence of happiness. By appreciating these moments, we cultivate an attitude of gratitude and contentment. This perspective fosters a constant state of well-being, irrespective of life's inevitable ups and downs. It also serves to slow time down, like when savouring the simple pleasures of ladybirds on bluebells.

Adopting a traveller's mindset means seeing life as a continuous journey of exploration and growth. It's about finding joy in the process of learning, evolving, and overcoming challenges. This mindset encourages us to relish the experience of living itself, rather than fixating on specific outcomes. It's about enjoying the ride, with all its twists and turns, rather than impatiently awaiting the final destination. This approach not only makes the journey more enjoyable but also enriches our experiences and personal growth.

Travelling happily with ikigai as my compass

Living by "happiness is a way to travel, not a destination" transformed my approach to life. It focuses my mind to find fulfilment in the journey itself. Recently I have combined the power of that with ikigai as my compass, so that I keep moving in an intentional direction.  I embrace this philosophy, opening myself to a more profound form of happiness that resonates for me as I take more steps through my life's journey.

---

** Hello there beautiful soul, I genuinely hope that you are having a peaceful day with moments of joy and clarity. **

This is a shorter piece than recent weeks, which is probably no bad thing hehe (last week’s was a tad too long and deadline too tight for me to spend any time editing). The reason being that I am doing a free challenge with the fabulous Write of Passage team and this was our first prompt for week 1, to try to stick to 500 words on a rule you live by (586, ahem!).

They sent an email recently explaining a slight pivot in terms of focus, which I thought really interesting and a timely reminder for me to practice getting clearer and shorter in my messaging;

“Our goal is no longer just to help you publish; it’s to help you publish the best thing you’ve ever written. To do that, we’re pioneering the concept of a Core Idea.”

What Is a Core Idea? 

A Core Idea is the purest distillation of the most important thing you uniquely have to say. It can be a story you need to tell, an idea you need to share, or a message you need to spread. It’s the crystalline expression of an idea you could use to impact the world — the combination of what you’ve done, what you know, and what you stand for.

How do you know if you’ve found your Core Idea? Use the 10-10-10 heuristic: It should pique a stranger’s interest in 10 seconds, be interesting enough to read about for 10 minutes, and be compelling enough to explore for 10 years. 

So yes, hopefully over the coming weeks I’ll get to practice and refine even more as the WoP experience is something else. They taught me;

Writing what you’re passionate about online turns you into a lighthouse for like-minded people—a beacon for serendipity. You meet people and achieve things that once felt impossible. Entirely by your doing, a new life opens up.

Oh my goodness I can vouch for this being an actual thing. The more I post here and on LinkedIn in particular, the more connections I make and in turn the more impactful conversations I am having.

Be brave and do the thing, post your truth and find your people.

So lovely reader, please will you share with us a rule or life lesson that you live by and why it works for you?

Sarah, seeking ikigai xxx