Why Should I Care About IKIGAI?

A slightly sweary guide to making Thursdays feel magical

🌸 ikigai 生き甲斐 is a reason for being, your purpose in life - from the Japanese iki 生き meaning life and gai 甲斐 meaning worth 🌸

I'm trying to write the "ultimate intro" to why I care so much about ikigai, and I'm even more scared than normal of coming across as a preachy self help wanker.

But... I see so much sadness and brokenness around me. So many people just... existing. Going through the motions. And I can't help but want to grab them by the shoulders and whisper "there's magic hiding in your ordinary Thursday, I promise".

By no means do I have it all figured out (the fairies know, I really really don't).... but when I was drowning, this stuff threw me a lifeline.

I have at times grappled with an aching, oozing emptiness. Drinking too much, crying in my car, and feeling absolutely paralysed by a sense of time running out. Pretty pastel coloured ikigai diagrams in my bullet journal that I'd never actually filled in properly because... well, where do you even start when you feel that lost?

(Turns out that diagram isn't even about ikigai anyway, but that's a whole other essay ahem)

I started writing because I needed to understand. Because pretty Instagram quotes weren't cutting it. Because I was tired of pretending I was fine when I absolutely wasn't.

Today's song is "Shake It Out" by Florence + The Machine because "it's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off." Sometimes finding purpose is just about shaking off all the stuff that isn't ours to carry.

The messy truth about finding purpose

Finding your purpose isn’t an end state. Seeking ikigai is an intention or feeling as much as a practice or process. You definitely don't need to wait until you're "ready" or "whole" or have your shit together.

I’ve stumbled on really important facets of it by complete accident in really tough times, but I’m sure that I did because I am attuned to doing so ‘cos of this writing lark. Like the morning I woke up with swollen eyes from sobbing for hours the day before, but having to give an AI talk to nearly 100 strangers. I seriously considered backing out but something made me show up anyway. I didn’t want to let anyone down as people deserve to not be left behind by technology, and somehow that mattered more than my personal crisis.

That was a proper shift in thinking for me. Purpose doesn’t always feel purposeful, but you *can* show up even feeling broken, when you care about something MORE than how awful you feel.

And maybe... maybe that's enough?

85 essays later and I’m still writing for the fierce little girl inside me who used to feel too much. I know that being a "good girl" or following all the rules doesn’t save you and that the GenX life lessons were perfect training for navigating this weird moment in history where AI meets human purpose.

That you can be cynical AND hopeful. Broken AND purposeful. Lost AND exactly where you need to be.

My own weird Venn diagram

I know it might seem a tad bizarre combining philosophy inspired by a beautiful Japanese word with bullet journaling and AI, but here's why it works (at least for me);

Ikigai reminds me that purpose has always been about presence, not productivity. The real concept (not the Western work-obsessed version) is beautifully simple. It's about finding joy in small things. Starting small. Being here now. Not the "find your passion and monetise it" bollocks…. But… the beautiful simplicity there would be if your hatarakigai (work worth doing) was also a key source of your feeling of ikigai!

Bullet journaling gives us space to think properly. Away from notifications and algorithms and all that noise. There's something about pen on paper that makes thoughts flow differently. Plus you can't accidentally end up doom-scrolling when you only meant to write a shopping list. You can create the most effective LifeOS in one too, design your life and write it into existence.

AI (stay with me here) can actually amplify our humanity rather than replace it. I use it like a really patient coach who helps me see patterns I miss, or articulates things my brain knows but my words fumble. I know there are bigger concerns with it, I may be a geeky optimist but I am also pragmatic but I’d rather help people understand it and make intentional choices than scare them. The i-risk of AI, or ikigai risk of AI is something I feel really driven to protect people from (by ikigai risk, I mean the danger of AI disconnecting us from purpose rather than helping us find it).

Together? They create a framework where ancient wisdom meets modern life, analogue to digital, in a way that actually helps.

I'm scared of sounding like I've got answers when really I'm just figuring it out as I go. I worry you'll think I'm trying to sell you something or convert you to my way of thinking.

I'm not. I promise.

I just... I've found ways to squeeze actual magic out of ordinary days. Real, tingly, "holy shit life is actually amazing" moments.

And I can't help but think... what if sharing my excitement about all this helps even one person? What if someone reads this and thinks "oh, maybe I could try that"? What if it makes someone's Thursday a tiny bit more sparkly?

Is that worth risking sounding like a wanker? Yeah, I reckon it is.

The bit that scares me (but I can't stay quiet about)

There's something else. Something that makes my stomach clench even as I type this.

Work. Most of us spend SO much of our lives there. Eight hours a day, minimum. That's why I keep banging on about hatarakigai (work worth doing) alongside ikigai. Because if we're miserable for the majority of our waking hours, no amount of evening or weekend self-care is going to fix that.

And here's where I get properly scared of sounding preachy... but I can't NOT say it.

When I look at "what the world needs" (a vital quadrant of the purpose diagram), gender inequity sits right at the top of my “12 Favourite Problems” list, though calling it favourite feels wrong when it makes me want to alternately scream or hide.

I saw a LinkedIn post this morning that knocked the wind out of me. About the patriarchy and how calling men out on problematic behaviour isn't hard because women are scared (though we are, sometimes). It's hard because in our gender conditioning, so many men weren't taught to listen without getting defensive. To be curious instead of reactive.

“You were raised to believe you’re the authority. More entitled to take up space. More worthy of being heard.” - Mitch Shepard

And I thought... fuck. Yes. THIS.

This is why I'm terrified to write about it. Because even raising it makes some people shut down or get defensive. Or aggressive.

Purposeful work sometimes asks us to be braver than we feel. To speak up even when our voice shakes. To keep showing up in spaces that weren't designed for us and gently (or not so gently) suggesting they could be better.

I've been that woman crying in the office toilets. I've sat through meetings where my ideas were ignored until a man repeated them. I've watched brilliant women leave roles because the cost of staying was too high. I still see FAR too many important conversations being had, products being created and decisions being made with little to no diversity being involved.

And I can't pretend that doesn't matter when I write about finding purpose at work.

Because what the world needs? It needs workplaces where everyone can thrive. Where psychological safety isn't a luxury. Where calling out problems doesn't make you "difficult". Where men who want to be allies (and I know so many who do) feel safe to be curious instead of defensive.

Let's create workplaces where curiosity, listening, and growth feel safer than defensiveness.

That's part of my ikigai too. Even when it scares the shit out of me.

Here's my awkward invitation

I don't have a neat conclusion because this isn't a neat journey. It's messy and ongoing and some days I still want to hide under a rainbow blankie.

But if you're reading this and feeling that familiar emptiness... if you're tired of pretending you're fine... if you want to believe there's magic hiding in your ordinary life but don't know where to start...

Maybe try one tiny thing? Write one page in a notebook. Ask AI one vulnerable question. Notice one small joy tomorrow.

Not because I said so (who the hell am I anyway?). But because you deserve to feel that tingle of possibility. Because your unique flavour of weird might be exactly what the world needs. Because waiting until you're "ready" means waiting forever.

I'm still nervous as well as excited about turning 50 this October. Still working out what ikigai means for me. Still writing essays that might make me sound like a pretentious twat.

I'm also finding magic in car parks and morning walks and conversations with AI. I'm building genuine connections with beautiful souls around the world. I'm slowly becoming more myself instead of less.

That feels worth sharing. Even if my voice cracks. Even if it's not perfect. Even if only one person reads this and thinks "maybe..."

Because maybe is where everything starts.

Sarah, seeking ikigai xxx

PS - If you made it this far, thank you. Genuinely. Whether you think I'm alright or awful, I'm just grateful you took the time. And if something here resonated? I'd love to hear about it. Not because I need validation (okay, maybe a little, please click the heart so the message spreads hehe) but because connection is the whole bloody point… would you share a thought with us?

PPS - Want to start somewhere? Try this: Write "What would make today slightly more magical?" at the top of any piece of paper. Then actually answer it. Then maybe... do one of those things? That's it. That's the whole secret. Starting small with what's right in front of you.

PPPS - Today's song is "Shake It Out" by Florence + The Machine because "it's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off." Sometimes finding purpose is just about shaking off all the stuff that isn't ours to carry.