How To Find Your Ikigai

A step by step guide for finding your reason for being

🌸 ikigai 生き甲斐 is a reason for being, your purpose in life - from the Japanese iki 生き meaning life and gai 甲斐 meaning worth 🌸

Right. You've heard me go on about ikigai and you now know it's not a four-circle career or purpose diagram (although the framework is actually bloody brilliant when drawn and used correctly).

You've read the why (purpose matters for your sanity) and the what (ikigai is a felt sense, a quiet knowing in your bones that this is enough). Now you want the how.

Good, because I've spent nearly two years figuring this out, testing frameworks, and discovering what really helps. This is a battle-tested roadmap I use myself, refined with others seeking their own spark of meaning. This works, it pulls us from dark places desperately wanting more from life but feeling overwhelmed about where to start, to genuinely waking up most mornings with a sense of purpose and possibility.

The process has two main phases; understanding your authentic ikigai (your reason for being), and then exploring how your work can become a source of that meaning.

The process I'm sharing works because it acknowledges something a lot of purpose-finding advice ignores… we are complicated beings with bills to pay, constraints to navigate, and multiple facets to our identity. Your ikigai isn't hiding in some mystical realm, it's woven throughout your actual life, waiting to be noticed and can be intentionally cultivated.

This roadmap takes you from "I have no clue what my purpose is" to "I can see multiple pathways forward" in a systematic way that honours both ancient wisdom and modern realities.

Phase 1: Your ikigai foundation

Step 1: Ground yourself in real ikigai - redefine and reconnect

Before we start mapping your purpose, you need to intuitively understand what you're actually aiming for. Real ikigai isn't about finding your one true calling or making millions from your passion. It's distilled and embodied in Ken Mogi's five pillars of ikigai;

1. Starting small – Timely, focused beginnings; tiny steps, not life overhauls

2. Releasing yourself – Authenticity over approval; embracing your imperfect, messy humanity

3. Harmony & sustainability – Acting with regard for community and planet; rhythms that nourish rather than deplete

4. The joy of little things – Savouring micro‑moments daily; finding magic in ordinary moments

5. Being in the here and now – Presence rather than too much rumination; don’t forget to look up

Ikigai sits in verbs more than nouns, it is lived, not owned.

This matters because it means your ikigai might be found in how you make your morning coffee, it's permission to find meaning where you are while building toward where you want to be.

I spent ages thinking I had to engineer a perfect life before realising ikigai was already there in the satisfaction of writing an essay that resonates, the joy of helping someone understand AI, the contentment of organising my bullet journal spreads.

Your ikigai might be making your child laugh, the quiet focus of coding, or the way you make people feel heard.

Exercise 1 – Little joy audit

In your journal create a list of at least 5 micro moments from the past week that sparked joy or made you feel grateful.

Exercise 2 – Pillar reflection

Create a journal spread and write out each of the 5 pillars, then next to each note one habit you already have that fits, and reflect on one you could nurture.

Step 2: Map what lights you up

It is all to easy to forget in the whirlwind weirdness of this timeline and our current lives, that it is actually super important to enjoy stuff. Like, really really, if we don’t then what is the actual point?!

Have you forgotten what makes you happy? Or put away “childish pleasures” because you think that’s how a grown up is supposed to be?

Let’s not do that, Let’s properly understand ourselves and what really makes us happy, both in a short term fix kinda way as well as the deeper more satisfying stuff that aligns with our soul.

Passions give flavour; values give direction. When the two align, motivation endures.

Exercise 3 – What labels describe you & your passions?

Set a timer for 10 minutes. Brain-dump every label that describes you, both positive and challenging ones. Include roles, traits, interests, values, quirks. Everything from "mother" to "Doctor Who fan" to "geeky gamer".

Don't edit. Just capture.

My list includes things like; ginger, optimist, ikigai seeker, AI enthusiast, bullet journal nerd, equality advocate, speccy 4 eyes, animal lover, GenX, introvert, Minecraft fan, jigsaw lover, walker…

These labels are ingredients in your unique recipe rather than any boxes to limit to you.

Exercise 4 – A values deep dive

Circle up to ten values that resonate most today, not your “ideal‑self” list.

Tip: If a value word that matters to you is missing, add it in the margin, this list is a prompt it doesn’t have everything on it!

You can then rank and map your values against the Schwartz Values Wheel. Mine clustered around universalism (equality, wisdom) and benevolence (kindness, honesty). Seeing the patterns does help you understand the types of activities and places to avoid soul-crushing feelings.

The magic happens when you spot the links between your labels and values, where your authentic interests live. Helping us to discover what we actually love, not what you think you should love. Not what looks impressive on LinkedIn but what genuinely energises you.

Talking of what you LOVE…

Phase 2: From ikigai to hatarakigai (work worth doing)

Here's where the famous Venn diagram comes in, not as ikigai itself, but as a powerful tool for designing meaningful work, work that feeds your soul rather than draining it.

The diagram (when drawn correctly with ellipses, not circles, because four circles can't show all the mathematical intersections *ahem*) maps;

• What you love

• What you're good at

• What the world needs

• What you can be paid for

Why does this matter for ikigai? Because most of us spend 40+ hours weekly at work. If those hours are soul-crushing, no amount of evening and weekend meditation will compensate. When your work becomes a source of ikigai rather than an obstacle to it, everything shifts.

It makes complete sense to aim for work to be a major source of our ikigai, not the only source, but a significant one. That’s why most of us fall in love with the pic!

We can’t all abandon practical concerns for passion projects, but we CAN strategically align our livelihoods with our reason for being.

Step 3: Identify what you're genuinely good at

This isn't about what you think you should be good at or what your family expects. It's about your natural strengths. Your strengths often feel so natural you undervalue them. Others sometimes can see them more clearly than you do.

Exercise 5 – Take a proper assessment

I'm serious about this. CliftonStrengths changed my understanding of myself completely. Yes, it costs money (about £45 for the full report), but it's less than you'd spend on a night out and infinitely more valuable.

My top five are Input, Learner, Intellection, Connectedness, and Ideation. Suddenly my overflowing bookshelves, constant learning quest, and love of spotting connections made sense. I'm not scattered, I'm wired to gather information and find unusual patterns.

Exercise 6 – Ask your people

Message three people who love you and ask; "What would you say are my natural strengths?" Their answers may surprise you, we're often blind to our own superpowers.

Step 4: Determine what the world actually needs

This is where purpose meets impact. But "the world" doesn't mean you need to solve climate change (unless that's your thing). It means identifying problems you care enough about to work on and contribute solutions to. We're not looking for generic "help people" answers. We want the specific problems that make your heart race with possibility or fury.

Exercise 7 – The 12 favourite problems sprint

Set a timer for 15 minutes and brainstorm a list of 12 problems you care most about. Don't think too hard about it, just write. Climate change, loneliness in elderly people, terrible user interfaces, gender inequity, food waste, whatever comes up.

Aim for a mix of scales - some personal (helping your kids navigate growing up), some local (improving mental health support in your community), some global (AI safety, sustainable energy).

I borrowed this concept from physicist Richard Feynman, who always carried around problems he found fascinating. Mine include gender inequity, the future of work in an AI age, and helping people find their authentic voice.

Exercise 8 – Check the UN Sustainable Development Goals

Which of the 17 SDGs make you think "yes, THIS matters hugely to me and it’s something I want to help fix"? These represent humanity's most pressing challenges. Your ikigai might connect to one of them. You will hopefully be able to map each of your 12 favourite problems above to one or more of them, a lot of mine naturally fall into SDGs 4 (Education), 5 (Gender equality) and 8 (Decent Work).

Step 5: Face your constraints

Before you start fantasising about becoming a marine biologist in the Maldives, let's get real about your actual constraints.

Exercise 9 – Journal honestly about your constraints

Time (caring responsibilities? commute?), money (savings? dependents?), location (can you move? do you want to?), skills gaps, industry realities, family expectations.

For me right now; I can't relocate while my stepchildren are at school. I need to earn enough to pay our mortgage. I'm 49, not 22, some paths aren't realistic anymore.

These aren't limitations to feel sad about, they're parameters that help you find realistic solutions. Constraints spark creativity.

Step 6: Generate possibilities (this is where it gets exciting)

Now you have all the ingredients. Time to cook.

Exercise 10 – Upload all these exercises into AI

Take photos of your journal pages and share them with Claude or ChatGPT, ask something like;

"Based on my attached ikigai thinking, labels & values, strengths, problems I care about, and constraints, what are 10 specific ways I could combine all this into a pathway for me to feel that I am doing hatarakigai, or meaningful work? Include both traditional career shifts and entrepreneurial possibilities and explain for each idea you list how close to ikigai you predict that would make me feel?"

AI can spots connections between your scattered reflections and interests that you might miss.

When I did this, it suggested combining my love of learning with my concern about AI literacy and my strength in making complex things accessible. That insight led directly to the work I'm doing now.

When you have some ideas that really resonate you can take steps to making them a reality, whether that’s retraining, starting a side project, job crafting in your current role… even just the awareness means that you will be more attuned to it and should start to see opportunities you wouldn’t have noticed before.

The beauty of actually doing this

This process is messy, iterative, and ongoing. I've done versions of these exercises multiple times over the years. Each round reveals new layers.

Sometimes the insights come in a rush, sudden clarity about why certain work energises you while other tasks drain your soul. Other times it's gradual, like slowly adjusting the focus on a camera until the picture becomes clear.

The goal isn't to emerge with a perfect life plan. It's to develop what I call "purpose literacy", the ability to recognise when you're moving toward or away from what matters to you.

I wake up most mornings excited about the work I'm doing. I can articulate why it matters and how it connects to who I am. That's not nothing.

You don't need permission to start this exploration. You don't need to be "ready" or have your life sorted. You just need curiosity and a willingness to be honest with yourself.

Start with Step 1 today. Spend 10 minutes writing about what really matters to you. Notice what comes up without judging it.

This is the most important work you'll ever do, the work of understanding who you are and why you're here.

Your ikigai is waiting. Not in some perfect future version of your life, but in the patterns and preferences and problems that already call to you.

Time to answer that call.

Sarah, seeking ikigai xxx

PS - Ready to dive deeper? I'm designing the ikigai workbook to go with this essay as we speak. Hit the heart button if you'd like me to let you know when it is ready for download! Also it would be so cool to hear a little about you, drop one random label that describes you below, let's see how wonderfully weird we all are! (another of mine; 'person who gets genuinely excited about new notebooks')

PPS - Today's soundtrack is "Vienna" by Billy Joel

I chose this because it perfectly captures the heart of ikigai, that your life is happening now, not in some perfect future version you're rushing toward. "Slow down, you crazy child" feels like exactly what we need to hear when we're frantically searching for our purpose instead of noticing the meaning that's already woven through our actual lives. Plus, "Vienna waits for you" is the perfect reminder that there's no deadline on finding yourself.